Why It Is Important to Forgive Others AND Yourself: by Katheryn Labosky
“Whatever our religion, we know that if we really want to love, we must first learn to forgive before anything else.”
― Mother Teresa
Carrying the burden of hurt after someone does us wrong is natural. Anger follows usually and we may not feel we ever want to “forgive and forget.” Forgiving, however, does not necessarily mean forgetting as we do learn from our mistakes and must retain memories so as not to repeat them.
Forgiveness is linked to inner strength and nothing says it better than this quote from Mahatma Gandhi below:
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
– Mahatma Gandhi, All Men are Brothers: Autobiographical Reflections
Forgiving others take the burden of hate and anger off your shoulders. The person who has done someone wrong generally is not thinking about the person or ruminating on their actions. Moving forward is up to the person who is wronged for mental and emotional health.
There is another part to forgiveness that most do not realize even exists. That is, FORGIVING OURSELVES! Yes, when we as humans make mistakes we can have a very difficult time forgiving ourselves. We toss and turn at night and think repeatedly about what we could have done differently when in many situations when mistakes are made we only did what we thought was necessary at the time.
This happens in minor issues but especially in major issues where a loved one dies unexpectedly or some other catastrophe occurs. Sitting around and going back over everything leading to the catastrophe keeps us from moving on, just as it does when we cannot forgive others.
We many times blame ourselves for things that we should not, as no one can predict the future or the outcomes of their actions all the time. While you should not make rash decisions, if you make a bad decision inadvertently, forgive yourself just as you would others!
In closing, remember, being able to forgive others AND yourself leads to inner peace which is what keeps life enjoyable and assists with happiness overall. Remember the advice below as forgiveness is about moving forward. That is the purpose. It is also about developing inner strength!
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
