Don’t get caught in a bunch of “Should”
In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.
Today, he started a new job. He ran his hand down his goatee making sure it looked neat. He brushed the side-burns and moisturized the dark hair on his face. Thinking to himself as he gazed in the mirror, “ Fresh haircut, clean teeth, crisp sky blue shirt, tapered gray slacks and don’t forget the standard spit-shined black shoes” He felt confident and ready to enter the corporate banking world until he walked downstairs and his mother said “Honey you should really cut off that beard, Banking is conservative they won’t like that look” Then his father entered the room and said “And you should have on a suit. It’s your first day and you want to make a good impression. His confidence dropped and he hesitated on the stairs contemplating going back up to change. He decided to grab a sports coat that matched well enough just in-case his dad was right. The beard would have to wait.
Good intentions
How many times have you received unwelcomed advice telling you what you should or should not do? We started getting “shoulded” on at an early age. Our parents tell us what we should wear, where we should go, who we should hang out with and what types of jobs we should do. Then we finally graduate and move into life and we begin a career and the boss tells us what we should work on and how we should present ourselves and when we should speak up and then you get married and your spouse starts in with how you should do things all over again. We live our lives getting “shoulded on” all the time. When we receive advice, it is usually done in good spirit, with the goal to assist us in our quest for success or personal improvement. Rarely does a person approach us with malice when offering their opinions.
Lost
The challenge arises when the person receiving this barrage of advice loses him or herself. How many of us started our first jobs with our parents doting on us and sharing war stories about their careers as they help us shop for new “work clothes”. Some of us were even subjected to etiquette classes to help us appear poised so that we “fit in”.
Make your own decision
Now we evolved into this person who often feels conflicted because as we grow we begin to realize that there are plenty of people with ideas about what we should do but none of those people can live your life. At some point, we need to decide for ourselves what we should and should not do.
